Have you ever feel tired? Sicken by life?

Yes, I feel it right now.

Maybe this only make this blog become more useless. But please let me give a touch of emotion, maybe not ‘a’ touch, but many touches.

People always said, aging is not a choice, but being mature is a choice. I think that’s right. And for me, I never really choose to be mature.

Once I ever ask God, to take me before I am seventeen. So I died young, didn’t feel anything that people call it ‘the dark side of life’.

But God have other plan, I grow up, and yeah, here I am. Living a life that I, myself don’t know what to do.

I just do the best that I can. But almost everything I did, is not really I wanted. I just do it because I have to. Why do I have to take the responsibilities? Dunno. I just did.

Yeah, and I just figured out that my nature is not to be around people. I prefer working alone. Sounds selfish and stupid? Yeah. But hell, that’s me. But other side of me said I want to be alone because I don’t want to hurt people. When I’m around, people just get hurt, either because of my ego, or my temper. And I never want that to happen.

So if I started to get close to other people, I just go, vanished. So, I lost the opportunities ahead, that might happen if I don’t go. If I wasn’t so coward.

Maybe, deep down, I just want a peaceful life. Maybe I don’t need so many friends, I just need some best friends, true friends. Like I have when I was a child.

Peter Pan would say…

…but I just want to be a child forever, never grow up, and live a life that always white…

In the end, I’ll just have to keep move on. God’s still have plans for me.

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