X: Kamu tahu nggak, kamu itu orang yang paling susah saya gambar. Tapi karena itu saya suka sama kamu, karena saya harus lihat kamu terus-terusan biar saya bisa gambar kamu.
Y: Ah, kamu. Justru kamu itu yang paling gampang buat aku gambar, karena wajah kamu kan terus terbayang di benak aku..

(wahahahaha! maaf geje.)

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Every time my death instinct come and suffered me, something bad happen to other people. Is it just a coincidence or are You trying to tell me something, God? Please let me know…

Saya. Hingga detik ini. Belum pernah menorehkan sesuatu yang besar. Untuk dunia. Mengapa? Karena. Saya. Selalu berpikir besar. Tetapi. Tidak pernah berbuat dari yang kecil. Karena itu. Saya. Mulai detik ini. Akan memulai dari hal yang. Paling kecil. Hingga saya. Bisa mencapai hal. Yang lebih besar. Dan saya. Harus. Memulai dari hari ini.

Kenapa kamu cari wanita yang cantik, putih, rambut panjang, mulus?
Gimana kalau taunya jodoh kamu itu harusnya si temennya yang item, keriting, dan biasa-biasa aja?
Kenapa kamu cari cowok yang sixpack, macho, dan tajir?
Gimana kalau jodoh kamu itu cowok cupu, one-pack, dan biasa-biasa aja?

Dari semua itu, kita ini seringnya lihat fisik. Mengejar kesempurnaan. Tapi apa yang indah di mata kita itu adalah yang terbaik? Kita nggak pernah tahu. Tapi kalau kita terus berputar-putar pada kesempurnaan fisik, ya sampai mati pun kita nggak akan nemu yang bener, karena sudah sifat alami kita untuk tidak pernah puas.

Nobody’s perfect, why bother find any? (a quote from my friend)

I always love to see loving people, to have my heart warmed by love. Hahaha! Maybe I’m a sentimental person after all. I smile when I see people happy. I love to see those bright eyes of happy people. Sometimes I envy some of my friend’s photo with family, with their best friends, or with their lover.  Maybe it’s because I don’t have best friend (even though I called them my best, I’m not their best), or a perfect family. Ah, enough whining. Hmm, yeah, I’d like to admit that I hate conflicts, yes of course, everybody hates conflict. When in conflicts, the world seems like hell. Read the rest of this entry »

Most people in my country hate Malaysians. But I play some internet game, and my best friend is Malaysian. Why can’t we all just get along?

Have you ever feel tired? Sicken by life?

Yes, I feel it right now.

Maybe this only make this blog become more useless. But please let me give a touch of emotion, maybe not ‘a’ touch, but many touches.

People always said, aging is not a choice, but being mature is a choice. I think that’s right. And for me, I never really choose to be mature.

Once I ever ask God, to take me before I am seventeen. So I died young, didn’t feel anything that people call it ‘the dark side of life’.

But God have other plan, I grow up, and yeah, here I am. Living a life that I, myself don’t know what to do.

I just do the best that I can. But almost everything I did, is not really I wanted. I just do it because I have to. Why do I have to take the responsibilities? Dunno. I just did.

Yeah, and I just figured out that my nature is not to be around people. I prefer working alone. Sounds selfish and stupid? Yeah. But hell, that’s me. But other side of me said I want to be alone because I don’t want to hurt people. When I’m around, people just get hurt, either because of my ego, or my temper. And I never want that to happen.

So if I started to get close to other people, I just go, vanished. So, I lost the opportunities ahead, that might happen if I don’t go. If I wasn’t so coward.

Maybe, deep down, I just want a peaceful life. Maybe I don’t need so many friends, I just need some best friends, true friends. Like I have when I was a child.

Peter Pan would say…

…but I just want to be a child forever, never grow up, and live a life that always white…

In the end, I’ll just have to keep move on. God’s still have plans for me.

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